Changes

It's a funny thing I just got a letter from the solicitors representing the owner of the property I as squatting in. Seems he's had a change of heart and now wants me to live there again, for security reasons. Actually it makes sense to have someone on the property at all times. So to sweeten the deal he's proposing a rental of £1000 a year. Hmmm That's much cheaper than my legit rent and this will be legit too. I'll have to think about it. I'm committed to at least another few months in my regular house but I must admit I'm inclined to move back to the hustle bustle and noise of the city.
The pic I took in the woods yesterday it was 20C. lovely and warm. We haven't even put the central heating on yet. I shall have to learn how before it gets really cold. Which got me thinking. If I'm not putting the heating on because it's too warm then I'm not burning fossil fuels and contributing to the carbon dioxide in the air so there'll be less, so problem solved. Maybe too simplistic. 

Superheros night

Every town should have a super hero and in Peterborough we've got them in spades. Although Robin looks a bit worse for wear. So here they are righting wrongs and drinking far too much... oh and I had a good night too.

...at the third stroke....

Regional accents for the speaking clock? That's new.
"ay up at t'thud strork it'll be 9:15 tha' knows"
"Hey homies at da thurd stroke it'll be... whatever. Stay cool man."
"At the third stroke we draw blood an you beg for mercy."
"At the third stroke it will be all over. Typical where can you get a man with staying power?"
Or the rural speaking clock
"AT the third stroke it will be autumn and you can start your winter drilling."
or the pessimists speaking clock
"At the third stroke you will be ten seconds closer to death."
or the advertisers speaking clock
"At the third stroke the time sponsored by Wye Valley Kitchens and bathrooms will be..."
The doctors speaking clock
"At the third stroke perhaps you will take my advice and stop drinking and smoking so heavily."

phone stress

Not much riles me. I'm pretty laid back as a rule. But there is one thing that makes me scream, the blood pressure go up, and want to kil someone. That's phones. I can't stand it when a phone is engaged. I've got work to do. I need to get on. I can't be doing with pushing redial every ten seconds and then... Why do some parents think it's really cute to let their children answer the phone? Look I'm in business. Time is money and I don't need to spend valuable time trying to get a small child to hand the phone over to their mother who is presumably standing right next to said small child thinking "oh she's so grown up with a phone in her ear."
"Can I speak to your mummy?"
"I got a new toy."
"Is your mummy there?"
"We're gone swimming."
"Give the phone to mummy darling."
"I'm talking to Daddy."
...and why do they insist on their answerphones that we're going to be rolling on the floor laughing at those cute answerphone messages that say "Mummy and daddy aren't here right now." oh how I laugh at those. And the messages that list every single member of the family including the bleeding Yorkshire Terrier. "Jeff, Lynn Isabelle Rachel, Charlie and Mrs Tiggy winkles aren't in right now..."
I'll draw a veil over that one.
Talking of which the school learning assistant lost her case for unfair dismissal because she insisted on wearing a veil when a member of male staff was in the same room. Now what they didn't seem to mention much was she felt it quite acceptable to go to the job interview without a veil to get the job, whilst being interviewed by a man. Now it seems to me in this case that she got the job under false pretenses. So they were fully within their right to sack her just for this alone. I mean if you interviewed someone who wasn't wearing a veil the last thing you'd think would be that it would become a problem. If it was going to be a problem she should have said so in the first place.

Sheeps and Goats

I'm in the dubious position of trying to rent out some commercial property. As a result I've had the dregs of society coming round to view and tell me their crackpot ideas of what they want to do with it. The best was this asian guy who came round to view intending to open a halal butchers shop. But he was more interested in the car park at the side. In particular a drain in the centre of the car park.
"Nice drain." he says.
I humour him by saying "It's functional."
"Is Ok I bring sheeps and goats?"
Now I'm a tolerant sort of chap, but the last thing I need is some asian butcher slaughtering "sheeps and goats" in my car park, turning it into some scene from a horror movie. One little death throw of it's poor dieing body will have blood all over my lovely Renault Meganne Scenic. I tell him to go forth and multiply in a nice way.

Billy two gigs

Last weekend saw me back in the recording studio. Taking photos again this time for Point Seven Pistol. This is them below in one of my photoshopped efforts. Now there's a word that should be in the OED. I've been doing a lot of work in the recording studio and there's more to come. Apparently there's some big bands coming up from London soon. I don't know who yet. Probably some unknowns. We've got two gigs coming up on consecutive Saturdays this Sat and the next. So if a certain rock God under the name of Delbert Montage would like to make a guest appearence at one or both gigs...
Talking of word that should be in the dictionary. It reminds me of my crazy children who are apt to make up their own words when one isn't available for their exact requirements. One of those words is "Rindyspink". It's a Mary Poppins type word when something is not just really nice but spotlessly nice. My children for years have taken to adding Lah (pronounced LAR)to every name of people they like. So I have become Daddylah, their mother Mummylah. Gemma is now Gemmalah it's been going on for so many years I forget that her real name is Gemma not Gemmalah. I don't think we're going to get Tonylah or Georgelah Bush.

Four bands Count them 1-2-3-4

I took this shot last Thursday. I gotta say I'm rather taken with it. It was shot in appallingly low light conditions even for my camera. Of course it's Abi, there's no mistaking that even though you can't see her face. I love the atmosphere of it, even the graininess of the picture, the hand on hips, the lighting and Abi looking out over the crowd. Well it's going to be interesting tonight. Due to a mix up we've got four bands on tonight. I booked a band over a month ago told Andrew then we both forgot. So we booked more bands. Whoopee! It's going to be fun fitting everything in. The music bizz maybe a lot of things but it sure aint boring.

Rock on dudes

montage2

  

Bouncing

I've got to go to London on the 4th November to photograph my "daughters" gig at Finnegins (sp) she's finally got a new contract with Sony BMG and she's planning to release an album in March next year then it's hit the festival circuit time. We're all very excited. Meanwhile here's another montage I threw together from the weekend photoshoot at the Batcave recording studios.  
How cool is that to have a trampoline in the back garden of a recording studio? The sky background is one of my stock pictures I took ages ago for some future project,which, at the time I didn't know I'd have, but it appears this is it.
The owner of the recording studio has invited me back next weekend to take some pics of another band point seven pistol I know them and they're pretty cool. Great band if you like your music loud and hard.

Rock on dudes 

Montage

I was asked to do a photoshoot for a band so over the weekend I was in the studio just snapping away while they were recording. This is a little montage I threw together. It's actually four seperate pictures heavily photoshopped. 
My call girl neighbour was in her garden yesterday. I can now see in as she was chopping away the bushes with a pair of shears. I watched her with curiosity. Y'know that old joke that girls can't throw a ball. Well CG can't use a pair of shears. There's no precision. It was like she was throwing the shears at the bush in desperation hoping something would get cut. Like letting a five year old loose in the hairdressers with an electric trimmer. I'm sure she's better in bed than in the garden. 

Escort

Our next door neighbour Escort girl has a new customer. He's Mr Lotus Elite owning one very smart black car also known as Mr Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious. Or rather he will be in Lots Of Trouble Unusually Serious if his wife finds out. I used to think it slightly obscene that people could buy a car that costs more than my house. But now with house prices going through the roof that doesn't happen so often. I'll have to change it to "it's obscene when a price of a rail ticket to scotland and back is more than the price of my car". If I can fly to France for one penny albeit with Ryanair, why does it have to cost over £600 for a return ticket to Glasgow? There's something wrong with the system why can't we have Ryanrail. Air travel once the exclusive perogative of the rich and famous is now cheaper than the railway. Why? Trains use less fuel, they can carry more passengers, carry more luggage and stop nearer where you want to be. Yet you still have to be a lottery winner to afford to let the train take the strain. The government want cars off the road, but that's not going to happen while its cheaper to use your car. (and more convenient)

Well that's got my weeks hobby horse soundly thrashed onto one of lifes realities. I played last night at Unity as "The Unity Acoustic All Stars". We did a fuck off version of "Wish you were here". By chrikey we rocked. Haven't has so much fun since the conservatives lost the last election. We made the song last a full ten minutes including our improvised lead guitar breaks and scat singing. We had them jumping onto the stage to sing along into the microphones they were singing dancing and rocking. Brilliant. This is what we want. Oh yes and I did take off my veil before I went on stage.

TV heaven

For someone who is so vehemently opposed to TV claiming it sucks the life out of your brain, it surprised me when Rory came home with a Skybox the other day. Christ on a bike! The worm has turned. So now instead of 5 channels to choose from we have 700. ALL RUBBISH! Now here's the problem which no doubt you've already experienced. I spent 3 hours flipping through the channels just to see what was there. I can tell you I wasn't impressed. Shopping Channels, american sports channels, religious channels, sexy babes channels, party poker, roulette, home and garden. I found a film channel. The advertising breaks were so long I could go next door get serviced have a cup of tea and still be back in time before the film started again.
Last night the Sky box sat sullenly in the corner, ignored. We played guitar instead. Including our own fifteen minute version of "Wish you were here" which we will perform tomorrow night. We also do a killer version of Angie by the Stones.

The picture? I knew you'd ask. It's Southey Woods at Sunset which is a particularly good time to leave unless you are of a dogging persuasion. Personally I'm not keen on wandering around a carpark with my trousers round my ankles, whilst blue lights flash romantically by your side.

Rock on dudes