Christ on a Bike! You remember I told you about that car that exploded on the road and the guy driving apparently committed suicide by driving his car straight at the fuel tank of a lorry? The guy was toast, he went up in the fireball, totally unrecognisable. Finally yesterday after forensic examination they have released his name. It's only a musician friend of mine who plays saxophone in a local blues combo. Bugger! I only spoke to him six weeks ago at one of his gigs and he was great. Poor old Piers.
About fifteen years ago another friend of mine disappeared, his name was also Mike, I knew him from the folk circuit, (I was a folkie back then, but I've learnt my lesson) he played guitar and wrote for the Local paper doing music reviews. They found him three days later hanging from a tree. His car parked up nearby. There was no note and no obvious reason for his suicide. We were all left going "What?" and "Why?" but we never found out. It's the same with Piers no one can think of any reason for him to be depressed. We're all having a great time being musicians so what's the problem?
Before you start worrying, suicide is not a word in my personal vocabulary. I'm going to be around for ages writing this rubbish. I can imagine myself hooking up the noose then thinking "I've just got to write about this funny thing that happened to me today." No I couldn't wouldn't ever kill myself.
Yesterday my brother called my out of the shop.
"Have you see this?"
There abandoned in our car park was an ASDA shopping trolley full of frozen meat. Catering size Burgers, chicken breasts, Pepperoni slices and two huge Donner kebab joints that they put on those rotating spits.
"Who left it? Did you see?"
"Oh it was two smack heads, they pushed it into the car park and ran away."
We phoned the meat company. Sure enough the druggies had broken into their cold store and half inched a load of meat and the druggies were marching up our road trying to sell the quickly defrosting meat to the local fast food operators with little success (Now that's encouraging after recent scary BBC programmes).
I notice my very mysterious friend Adam has turned up again in the comments box. He has indicated he knows me from way back and has given me (in the past) several clues to verify this fact. But I'm still damned if I can remember ever knowing anyone called Adam. Oh the intrigue. But if he knew me then he would have known the lovely Elizabeth from my past, hence the comment. (in case you were wondering why his comment was a little left field). Without going into too much detail Elizabeth saved me from myself and gave me back my life. I write to her twice a year at Christmas and her birthday, I thank her every time. She never replies. I don't expect her to, she has her own life now. But I will go on thanking her for the rest of my life. You'd like her she's fabulous.
Rock on dudes