Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Zen and the Art of Self Discovery

The voting went as follows. Approx
50% Toby
30% CCTV
20% Hungry joe

I declare Toby the winner and God help the lot of you. You asked for it so here it is. And you thought it would be a sweet innocent story. It's another Willy story........ hoorah!

Zen and the Art of Self Discovery

For a change this story didn’t involve me, but a friend of mines brother and sister. My friend Robert is a very clever lad, he comes from a clever family, Mother and father both very intelligent, his younger sister, Bethany, quite bright, but his younger brother Toby… well, let’s say he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact he was so stupid Robert and Bethany had some choice nick names for him, but in this enlightened age I won’t repeat them as they were definitely not PC.
One evening Bethany was in her bedroom, when young Toby came rushing in.
“Bethany, Bethany Look.”
Toby had just discovered that his willy (Yes folks it’s a willy story) had a mind of it’s own, and with a bit of manipulation, could grow and grow, and get hard. Amazing!
Toby was thrilled and just had to show Bethany his new discovery. So he ran into her room in his Jim Jams, clutching his hard on, that was poking through his winceyettes.
“Look Bethany Look.”
“Take it away Toby, you’re disgusting.” But he wasn’t to be put off. This was a discovery worthy of Newton or Einstein, not that Toby would have ever heard of either of those. But to Toby it was an earth shattering revelation. The world was going to be a better place. Cancer would be cured and third world poverty a thing of the past.
“Touch it, Bethany touch it.” he pleaded, offering it up to her so she could be amazed too. How could he keep a thing as important as this, to himself?
Bethany reached over and grabbed her nightie that was laid on the bed and in one swift flick whipped Toby with it. Now the sound of a cracked whip that you hear, is in fact the end of the whip breaking the sound barrier. So it was that a button on Bethanys nightie, flying at supersonic speed, caught poor Toby right on the bell end. He doubled up, screaming in agony. His screams brought mother upstairs, who found young Toby whimpering in the corner of Bethanys room holding onto his injured manhood.
“What’s the matter?” asked Mother.
Toby showed his mum, his now deflated pride and joy, all red and bleeding.
“How on earth did you do that?”
“Bethany did it.”
He never attempted to show Bethany his new toy again, although he did a load of other stuff but then that's another story.............

iPod now playing - Have you ever fallen in love by The Buzzcocks


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