Tuesday, December 14, 2004

The Great British workman

We have a team of roofing experts putting a new roof on our shop next door. They're very efficient. They know exactly what they're doing. Professionals.
Well I thought so until they set fire to the roof. They were/ are using calor gas flame throwers to melt the bitumen felt so it's sticks.
One of them put down flame thrower on bitumen felt in order to have 1. a roll up and 2. A chat with his mate.
I saw flames leaping up, heavily assisted by the flame thrower still turned on.
I waved at man on roof. "Hello!"
I waved some more "Hello Excuse me"
He's still rolling his fag. Three foot behind him the roof is on fire.
"Hello!" I'm shouting.
"THE FUCKING ROOFS ON FIRE! FOR CHRISSAKES!" that did it.
He put out the fire and stuck a patch over the hole burnt into the roof. "No problem mate you'll never notice."

Oh and while we're mentioning it. They melted our plastic guttering with their flame thrower. I've a mind to sell what's left to the Tate Gallery as a sort of Salvidor Dali type exhibit. Drooping gutter.

I can't wait to see one of them try to light a roll up using the flame thrower. At the very least it would save them having to buy one of those Remington nasal hair clippers. Actually I read ina magazine once at the Hairdressers about this new technique of haircutting using a blow torch. The hair is burnt off. Or Singed. Takes skill and training not to end up with a kojak.I can't see the attraction though, the smell of burning hair (and maybe flesh) is hardly the pheremone type smell of choice.

Look will you lot stop distracting me I've got work to do.

I'm at work so no iPod.......... sorry

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