Rock and roll it aint

Jack. You made the comment that I was having a hell of a life already. So you didn't need to tell me to rock on. I used to dream of the rock and roll life style. I wanted to be the one on stage playing guitar. But between you and me. It's hard work. I've just finished the 4th of our gigs this weekend. The afternoon gig was cancelled outside due to the weather and rescheduled for this evening. So of course no one knew about it. Hence hardly any audience. Meanwhile Del was suffering from complete exhaustion. In fact we were all dog tired. But we are professionals. The show must go on even though you feel like shit. This is rock and roll. Do you want some?
It aint all fairy land crowd adoration and girls throwing their knickers on to the stage. It's a job like any other.
But that's not to say we didn't have a great weekend. I just thought I'd tell you about the shit right from the start. Saturday we played the Exeter Arm Helpston. It was outside. It was bleedin' cold. Our whole audience were huddled round a garden brazier keeping warm, unfortunately the brazier was behind a huge bush so they couldn't see us playing in the car park. But on the plus side we had a hen party and there were four girls in ra ra skirts and little else dancing in front of us. Whoopee!
Sunday we played The Whistle stop at Tallington. Again it was supposed to be outside but the bad weather forced us inside. We played a blinder. The audience was fantastic. We had them up and dancing and singing. At one point a women was stripped to her bra in front of us. This is what we want. This is rock and roll. We started at 4 and played til 7.10. Then packed everything up and drove like demons down the A1 to Folkesworth to be in time to start playing at 8.30. By 11.30 my fingers were begging me to stop. I normally don't use a plectrum but my right hand fingers were hurting so much I had to relent. The last time we played in Folkesworth we stayed on stage until 2.30 in the morning. But then we were fresh and it was our only gig of then day. There's a limit to what the body can stand. We all have day jobs.
My good friend Jules asked me today "Have you mentioned me on your website?"
I said "No."
"Good." he says " I don't want you to write about me."
"OK I wont. " I said.
"I don't want you writing anything about me."
"of course not, if that's what you want."
So I'm not going to write about Jules. Even though he's a top man. Even though he is going to be recording our Genevas gig at the end of September for our new live CD. Available for only £5. Don't rush we haven't even recorded it yet. So if you are reading this and find a lack of Jules mentions. It's because he wants to be anonymous. But I assure you he will be there even if I'm not allowed to mention him. Top man and Ipswich supporter. Love the Horse.

So dear friends, like Del, I myself am suffering from comlete exhaustion, and I have to go to bed now. But before I go Uncle Vodka is now back in Moscow and I'm getting nearer to having him share his wonderful life with you guys. Koshka. God! I want to shag someone called Koshka. But he's already been there, done that. Negotiations are still ongoing. Watch this space. We want to know the story. Don't we? Clap if you believe in fairies. Comment if you want to know about Koshka. We might persuade him to reveal all. I know he reads this so..............

Goodnight and may your God be with you.

Rock on Dudes.