Friday, September 03, 2004

21 per cent carrots

I popped into my local hostelry last night for a pint and met Dave the chef and Mustafa the Kurdish ex policeman refugee. I stood chatting and noticed Mustafa had got a new watch.
"Nice watch Mustafa." I say.
"You like?"
"It's OK."
"Is gold.... you know gold?"
"Yes I know gold."
"yes is 21 percent carrots, you unnerstan me."
"21 carrat gold yes I know what you mean."
"This is 21 percent carrots, not 18 percent carrots, 18 per cent no good this is 21 percent, you unnerstan me?"
"Very good." I said wishing I hadn't started the conversation.
"You look, you feel it's from Dubai, you unnerstan Dubai, plenty gold in Dubai, is very good." He takes off the watch and hands it over "You feel, is heavy, no?"
I let him drop it into my upturned palm. Ok it was heavy but not that heavy, and now I had it I supposed I'd better examine it just to please him, and make some kind comment. I examined the watch.
"So gold huh?"
"Yes 21 per cent carrots."
"So why does it say stainless steel just here."
"No is gold you don't unnerstan."
"But it says stainless steel."
"No! Is gold, my brother he send me. From Dubai."
Meanwhile Dave the chef is having none of this arguement and stands back a little smirking. Sorry smoking. But then again maybe both. Smirking and smoking.
"So why does it say stainless steel here?"
"I don' know why. " I suspect Mustafa was just beginning to realise that either his brother had ripped him off or his brother was stupid and got ripped off or both. He put's the watch back on picks up his packet of Turkish smokes and fiddles with the pack. he takes an unnecessaruily long time to take one out and light it. he reaches down to the bag at his feet and pulled out a parcel wrapped in newspaper. It's 200 of the foulest smelling turkish cigarettes. He passes them furtively to Dave the Chef. Who after a brief glance and the removal of 20, sticks them in his day sack. No money changes hands. Dave sparks up.
"I gotta go now guys." I say trying not to breath in, ther's second hand smoke and there turkish cigarette second hand smoke.

Gotta go Gemmalah is stuck at the Cinema having lost her bus fare home. So it's Daddy taxi time again.
C'est la vie

Rock on Dudes


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