Monday, August 15, 2005

It's Hardly Rock and Roll

So it seems I have an image problem. I'm supposed to be a hard drinking, hard playing Rock star, but there I am taking photographs of wild flowers. It's hardly rock and roll is it. Del wants to take me on a week long training course on how to be a hard drinker. Aberystwyth was mentioned. Huh? Aberystwyth? Have they got any hotels worth trashing there? That's not to mention the potential training in cocaine binges, the steady flow of marijuana, and rolling a fat one on the back of mescaline and speed. Now then Hunter Thompson I'm not. I'm no gonzo journalist. In my spare time there's nothing better than putting on my walking boots grabbing my Ordance survey map and camera and taking to the country. I'm trying to think of other rock and roll greats who were less than rock and roll in their spare time and all I can think of is Bill Oddie Ex-Goodie who is now making a living presenting wildlife programmes for the BBC. Dare I mention Sting who is heavily into Tantric sex? That's where you have sex but don't actually touch each other, and Roger Daltry keen fly fisher man. Maybe I have a case. Maybe I have found some precedents who are going to let me off the hook for having such a wussy hobby.
I could be Walter, Dennis the Menaces arch nemesis soppy Walter who skips about the meadow collecting flowers for Mumsie, much to Dennis's disgust. No I need an image makeover. How can I present myself as a Rock Star with this hanging over me? What will the fans say when they discover the hard man of pub Rock is into wild flowers. I'll fall hard. Bookings will dry up. I will become persona non grata. Del will roll his eyes for the last time and find someone younger and more unreliable to play with.
I tried to disguise my flower hunting expeditions by telling him I'm going "Dogging". He saw through that instantly. Maybe I'll survive as long as I don't start drinking Pink Gin, or cocktails with umberellas in them. So if you've any suggestions how I'm going to improve my image as a Rock Star there's a comments box below. Max Clifford eat you heart out I've got friends who can help who won't cost me thousands.

Rock on Dudes!Posted by Picasa


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