Friday, May 06, 2005

The fuckwit has gone

Yesterday my Assistant manager came in Bawling her eyes out, sobbing fit to bust. She's finally decided she can't marry her fuckwit boyfriend, her Chav in uniform.
This is the boy friend who after being away in the army for two months comes back on leave for a weekend, spends an hour with the girl then announces he going clubbing with his mates, and can she pick him up at two in the morning. Is he taking her? No!
This is a guy who has no tax on his car and is always making excuses blaming other people for him not having tax.
The guy who on seeing a policeman walk past makes obscene gestures to him and when challenged as to why the gesture replies "Coz you bastards are always arresting my bruvver." I wonder why?
Fuckwit is in Iraq.
Assistant manager phoned him last night at 8:00pm to tell him to take a hike.
At 8:20pm his mother sisters and the rest of the family were hammering on her front door screaming abuse.
Now I don't know about the rest of you but isn't the usual or preferred reaction to come round for a quiet chat and see what's wrong, see if she's just suffering from pre-wedding nerves see if there's anything they can do to reassure her? NO they come storming round in force and hammer on the door and scream abuse through the letter box.
So if she was just unsure and a little nervous before she sure as hell aint now. She is convinced she doesn't want to marry into that family. They have shown themselves to be total scum. They don't deserve my Princess of an assistant manager. She's had a lucky escape.
As Petal pointed out to her while giving her a hug, "you don't want to end up bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen a million miles from home."
Petal was round here a lot yesterday on Hugging detail. Did a fabulous job at least it stopped me from getting a soaked shirt with the tears.
So we're all going to her and doing the "There there it'll be alright" routine and then going round the back to cheer loudly and do high fives because she's finally dumped the fuckwit.
I don't know when I've been happier. Was it when she told me she'd dumped him or when I bought my Ovation guitar? It's a close call.

Del on the other hand is gutted. He's just realised that he's playing a gig about the time his Beloved Arsenal are playing Liverpool on Sunday. I think a portable TV strapped to the back of a speaker is called for with the sound turned down. He can play bass and watch the footie at the same time. He can do that. He could play bass with his eyes shut whilst delivering a lecture on the rise and fall of the Russian Tzars.

Rock on Dudes


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