Just doing it

I had my music club tonight. A new guy turned up his name is Andy. This is him in the above photo. He is an unashamed exhibitionist. I first met him a few years ago at Genevas bar. He was playing a Fender Stratocaster through a fuzz box. He was terrible. He couldn't play, he couldn't sing but he was great because he had the balls to get up there and do it. He didn't care what people thought, he just played and everyone cheered because he was so bad. One night he played Britney Spears, "Baby do it to me one more time" it was so bad it was brilliant. We all cheered like mad fuckers. This is entertainment. Tonight I talked to him about it. He's been playing for five years, I've been playing for twenty five years. He will get up and play something, knowing he hasn't a clue but he gets away with it. I need to know I'm going to get it right or almost right.
He said "It's confidence, that's all. 100% confidence and 10% ability."
That made me think. Of course I get away with murder because I'm confident in what I do. For Chrissakes! I'm the one getting paid to do it. So I should have confidence. I'm being paid to put myself up for public ridicule. Knowing that little gem of information gives you carte blanche to fool around in the name of your art. You don't apologise you just do it they way you want to do it. If you cock it up well that's how you play it. The punters mostly don't give a shit as long as they are being entertained.
Tonight Andy proved himself that he has improved beyond all doubt. Due to his perserverence he can now play and sing very well. He has a repertoire of 136 songs. Respect.

For a while a few years back I was in the Art business. Not as my main job but as a sideline. This is where I found out about hype. If a painting doesn't sell you don't reduce it to the sale price. You put the price up. By valuing it more the buyer perceives the work of art as higher value. It is coveted more. It's all down to presentation. I've been to galleries and seen some abortions of art, stuff that a two year old could produce using finger paints. But it's sold. At first I used to complain and remonstrate with the gallery owner that a piece was an insult to my intelligence. As I got to know the dealers, and they knew me, they let me into the secrets. You can sell anything as art, you just have to present it properly. They themselves knew it was a lot of old bollocks. But the punters didn't. They foisted off all sorts of tosh onto the unsuspecting public in the name of investment in art.

It was when I learnt this fact that I was offered a job in France as a manager of an Art Gallery. That's a million miles away from what I do now. For reasons I don't want to go into right now it all fell apart and I couldn't accept the job. Its one of my great regrets in life. I couldn't even speak fluent French. Just enough to get by. But the job was mine.

So what's the message tonight? Just do it. Sod what anyone thinks.

By the way we played our game tonight in the car park, of kicking the empty coke bottle into the skip. Andy was shit at it got close a couple of times. Paul wasn't much better. So still the champion is Charlie. Although tonight I kicked a home run. Result.

Rock on dudes.

PS Del if you're reading this we're gonna put "Two Princes" into the set. By the Spin Doctors. But then you know that already dontcha buddy?