Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Strippers, Pole dancers and quantum physics

Met a new person in my pub the other day. Quite an amazing girl. Young enough to be my daughter. She’s slim with short brown hair and petite. I was introduced to her by someone who was talking about fishing.
“That’s where I’ve just come from.” she said, looking like the most unlikely fishing type that ever walked this earth. Dressed in her smart black jacket andblue jeans.
“Yeah right!”
“No. Really I love fishing it’s my way of relaxing after a hard week in London.”
“So what do you do in London?”
“Oh I’m a stripper.” she said it like she might have been telling me she was a secretary or something. “And I do a bit of pole dancing, some private work, you know.”
“Why a stripper?”
“Because I’m not stupid. I’m intelligent and educated, I speak five languages, French, Spanish, German, Italian and of course English.”
“But with all that talent, again why be a stripper?”
“I’m 22 next birthday. Next month I’ll be moving into my new house. It’s costing me over £200,000. I’m paying for it in cash. Now you tell me why I
shouldn’t be a stripper. By the time I’m 30 I’ll be retired and living an easy life.”
Well I don’t know how much of that was true. How much of it was spin. But I tried her out on her languages. First French then Spanish. She could certainly speak those two. I can’t vouch for the German as I’ve never learnt it. So she could have said anything and I wouldn’t have been any wiser. The italian sounded convincing too.
Leslie was sitting near me. She leant over when the girl had gone to the bar, and hissed at me “Don’t encourage her.”
“I’m not encouraging her. I’m just talking, finding out stuff. I’m a writer I have to know about stuff.”
“But she’s a .......prostitute.”
“So what? Does that make her evil? I don’t think so. She’s certainly clever.”
“She’s after something and you don’t want to have any part of it.”
My stripper friend came back after getting herself a drink at the bar.
“So what do you do Mr Hat?” she asked looking at me over the top of her glass.
“I’m an electrician, part time musician, part time writer and I used to be a biologist.”
“I’ve always been interested in science. I took a course in quantum physics a while back, You know all that stuff about breaking down atoms into electrons
and neutrons and protons then breaking them down a bit more into positrons and gluons and all those other strangely named sub atomic particles, hey did
you know one of the particles is actually called strangeness?”
“Yes Quark ,Strangeness and Charm. It’s the title of a Hawkwind Album.”
Well guys I’m still not totally convinced but she was interesting if nothing else.
“Thank God! She’s gone.” says Leslie, “I thought she was trying to get in your wallet, via your pants.”
“Leave it out. You don’t half talk some rubbish.”
“I call it like I find it. And she’s no good. You mark my words.”

1 Comments:

Blogger Quink said...

She sounds fantastic. And if she's a talented and unfazed prostitute too, well, who are we to criticise? I wish I'd met her - I'm planning to brush up my French in the autumn...

8:10 pm  

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