Bomb disposal

I thought I'd try out a new pub the other night, it was out of town and very posh, hand cream in the gents, and the soap on saucers which had little paper doylies underneath. Up above the free standings were picture frames and in each frame was a page from the daily Telegraph to read whilst recycling the beer.
So I'm standing there recycling, and an article catches my eye.
A man was digging his garden and dug up a landmine, he bent down to pick it up and accidently pressed a button on top. Now he had a dilemma, if he let go of the button he'd blow himself up. . So he calls his wife and tells her to evacuate the children and call the bomb disposal team. With his thumb getting tired he then instructed his wife to tape his hand to the bomb. His next great idea was to get a bucket and bury his hand and bomb in the bucket of sand, that way supposing that if the bomb went off, he'd only lose his arm. Well he'd certainly need to buy a new bucket anyway. Eventually after standing in his back garden with this bomb taped to his hand that was buried in a bucket of sand the bomb disposal team arrived, his adoring wife was frantic by this time and had refused to leave her beloveds side, reasoning that if he died she might as well die as well. The bomb disposal men carefully dug out the bomb and the hand from the bucket and with careful consideration examined the device. Only to find that the bomb was a discarded part from an old Citreon car. The bomb disposal man commented "it was an easy mistake for anyone to have made."