Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Living with an Ex Hells Angel and Nymphomaniac

I left the sex offenders residence and moved in with the ex-Hells Angel, Ross and his girlfriend, Jacky. It was fabulous. I loved it there. Our house was upside down; the living room upstairs and the bedrooms below. It was called rather grandly Australia house. We had parties regularly. At the time I was really into home brewing, making beer from scratch, using malt and hops, never kits. My beer was awesome. So whenever I had made enough beer, usually four barrels worth, we had a party and everyone was invited. The barstaff at our local pubs fought to have the evening off for the party.

We had a few ground rules, it wasn't a bring a bottle party, you just come. NO spirits were allowed. No vodka, whiskey, gin or anything like that, just beer cider and wine. Our theory being that people who drink spirits get drunk real quick and then get violent. People who drink beer just fall asleep. I'm sure people will come up with anecdotal evidence that disputes this, but on the whole it's pretty much a truism.

We would have upwards of about sixty people at any of our parties, I made the beer and Ross was do the barbecue under canvas with fairy lights all round. I was never happier.

Ross was an ex-Hells Angel he had a police record as long as your arm but when I moved in he was cool. he'd calmed down and all his youthful anti-social behaviour was a thing of the past. He was a landscape gardener. But he was still very big and very strong, very sure of himself. You didn't mess with him.
So what about the nymphomaniac? Jacky was lovely, a vegetarian, but hey who cares. she was very cute. The only trouble was she was after me. Despite the fact that Ross and I were best friends by now. One day I was home and she pounced on me. I was terrified about the repercussions if Ross found out so I fought her off. God! I wanted her. But broken limbs is a huge disinsentive. So we, Jacky and I, had this fight in our upstairs sitting room, she was desperate and I was terrified, and she ended up with carpet burns on her elbows as I threw her across the room to get her off me. She had to explain it to Ross later that she'd fallen over.
One time we went to a christmas party and Ross stayed at home. By this time we had a fourth person living with us Brian. It was a Christmas party and Jacky got really pissed. Brian was driving so he was completely sober. Jacky was falling down drunk and I wasn't far behind her. She sat in the front with Brian and I was in the back. Suddenly she fell sideways. I was worried that her falling on to Brian would hinder his driving so I tried to sit her up again. Brian was adamant that she was OK where she was. I tried again and he got angry. It was only then that I realised that while we were driving at 80 mph she was giving him a blow job. The car would speed up suddenly as he lost control of his legs. I was too pissed to care. We made it home and nothing was said. She staggered out of the car like nothing had happened. I gave Brian a look and he just grinned at me. Bastard!
We used to work on cars a lot. But I'm no good at cars. I don't know the first thing. but I'd get greasy just as much as Ross and Brian and they'd tell me to go into the house and get coffe for us. Jacky would be waiting for me. She'd be wearing a white t-shirt. As I walked into the kitchen she'd grab me and start kissing me. I couldn't fight her off without leaving tell tale marks on her white T-shirt and she knew it.
Ross would shout out "Where's the coffee?" and Jacky would say "Just coming darling."
But the coffee wouldn't come, so Ross would come into the house, we'd hear him coming and I would be in a fearful panic knowing that if he caught me with Jacky, my life would end right there, right then. She'd be kissing me and touching me until the last second. Then as he walked in she'd let go and say "Coffees ready darling." and I'd be standing there shaking. As if everything was absolutely normal she'd hand him his cup of coffee along with a kiss. While I'd be shell shocked and traumatised. She did this to me on numerous ocassions. Women can have such power over men. I was young I didn't know squat. I didn't know the rules to the game I was a victim. I was naive.But I confess I wanted to shag her. I never did. But my freindship with Ross was more important than a quick shag.

I later found out that he had caught her two timing him and had left her,. But that was before he found out about me supposedly shagging her, courtesey my brother in law. But that's another story.

Do you want to know about that? Vote now. OK I know it isn't Monday but this is another vote extra to what you normally get.
Leave your mark. If you can't spell your name just type X.

Do you want more? Do you want to know how Ross nearly ripped me limb from limb due to a misunderstanding? Vote now or forever hold your piece.
But if you hold your piece don't do it in public. you could be arrested and put on the sex offenders list. Your call.

Mikel

iPod now playing - Wooden Heart by Elvis Presley

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