Monday, March 07, 2005

Dianes kitchen

Last night I was stuck with a dilemma. Do I walk half way across the city to go to the comedy club and see a bunch comedians and a band, then walk back all by myself in the cold? Of do I take a chance and go and see Del.

I took the chance. Del was there. So was the man who can not be named (J) and Tim (The Timernator).
J and The Timernator were building Dianes kitchen. This is the kitchen we all put our hands into our pockets to buy for them as a wedding present. I think my contribution bought them a shelf and a couple of drawers. When I arrived Del was playing on his computer.
You see Del had been allocated the role of asbentee overseer and entertainment. Basically J decided that Del was not best suited to actual work. At least none of your practical stuff. Yes he's incredibly entertaining when he's on a roll. he can make you laugh. But put a screwdriver in his hand he looks at it and says "What doI do with this?". So he was sent out of the way while J and The Timernator built the kitchen.

I arrived. "Can I help?"
"Er... we seem to have destroyed the vacuum cleaner." says J. "I think the Dyson is a casualty of war. Can you fix it?"
"I'll have a look.............Hells Bells what have you done to it?"
They'd been picking up plaster dust with the Dyson.
Now while the Dyson is a work of art and a design classic and a much sort after ascessory of modern living. It's pretty shit as a vacuum cleaner. Don't get me wrong I love Dyson vacuum cleaners. I encourage everyone to buy them. Why? Because they go wrong so often and so we get to fix them and charge mucho dinero for the privelige.
So I took Dels vacuum cleaner out into the garden.
J shouted out the window "Is it Land fill?"
"I haven't read the last rites yet. There's still a chance we can save it."
The filters were completely clogged with plaster dust. The cyclone was clogged. By the time I'd finished unblocking it I was clogged with dust. But I got it working again.

iPod now playing - Sweet Virginia by The Rolling Stones


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