Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Funeral of the Foot

Five years ago Steven X left his house to go to work. He was never seen again. Despite a police search and a public appeal nothing was ever turned up.
Then two months ago an angler found a trainer he pulled it from the canal. It had a human foot still in it. DNA evidence revealed the foot belonged to the missing man.
His father lives near me he came into the shop a while back.
"We're having the funeral next week." he told me............

Look I'm sorry I have to apologise now but I can't help laughing. They're having a funeral for a foot.
Petal from the flower shop came running in this morning.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"I've got to do the flowers for the funeral of the foot." she was laughing.
as she went on "Our standard coffin spray is four foot long,so that's going to be three foot too long isn't it. because they wont put a foot in a big coffin will they."
"Maybe they'll use a shoe box, do you think they prefer the Reebok shoe box with the hinged lid or the Nike shoe box where the lid comes off."
"It could be a blue peter coffin, Valerie Singleton and John Noakes knocking up a coffin out of a shoe box and sticky back plastic."
Sammy said "you know the body usually goes to the undertaker who puts make up on and dresses the corpse in his best clothes for burial, do you think they'll put the foot in a new trainer or something?"

Then it got out of hand somewhat with someone asking "Who's going to foot the bill?" and "will it be an open casket ceremony?" and "Surely they're not going to kiss the foot after it's been in the canal five years."
So Petal ran off giggling to make the nicest bouquet of flowers for the funeral of the foot.

iPod now playing - Wondrous Stories by Yes

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