Tuesday, July 06, 2004

We know where you live!

My microwave engineer had a phone call today from his wife. Their next door neighbours had police vans in their yard. The door was broken down and articles removed. Most importantly a plastic bag full of white powder. The police waited for them to return and surprise surprise they were taken to the police station for questioning. Now the amazing thing is that their neighbour is a plantsman. He grows herbs and shrubs for his garden centre. Hardly the image of a major drug dealer. I asked microwave man if he had ever suspected anything. He said “No they’re regular people they have garden parties and everything. Solid citizens.”
Well it’s obvious that not is all it seems. Your own neighbour could be a pillar of society and yet be a child molester, drug dealer or criminal. Makes you think doesn’t it? It’s always the last person you suspect. It’s a scary world out there. Behind closed doors anything can happen. Fred and Rosemary West spring to mind.
Another crazy could be living next door to you and you wouldn’t know it. Peter Sutcliffes wife never suspected a thing and he was “The Yorkshire ripper”.
You don’t know about me. I could be anything. I only tell you what I want you to know. I could have some dark secrets. I could have another life and just give you this veneer of a life. I play the part of a really nice guy but do you really know? What sort of dark deeds lurk in between the lines? Perhaps you should lock your doors because I know where you live. Everyone has secrets. Even you, and you know I’m talking about you…………you know who you are, and so do I.

But I’m a musician so that’s alright then. I can’t be bad. How many musicians do you know who have turned out to be mass murderers? None. So that’s me in the clear. I will give you the exception of Gary Glitter who has a penchant for little boys, and Pete Townsend who was cleared of all allegations. Being as he was just doing “research into child abuse”.

I’ve been trying to master U2’s “With or without you”. Actually it’s an easy song. But try singing it in the key they play it. I croak. So to sing it successfully I’ve had to detune my guitar by one tone. Then play it in C. So effectively I’m singing it in B. Bono sings it in D. Although if you listen to the live version even he drops it down to C#. Here’s another thing you music lovers might not have realised. When these boy bands play, the producer almost always puts it up a key or two so the boys are singing higher than normal. This is because they will then sing more like girls. The girls love this and they tend to scream more the higher the boys sing. It’s all psychological but the powers that be have noticed this and taken advantage of the fact. It was first noticed when the Beatles sang really high, the girls screamed fit to bust. It took them a while to figure it out but now it’s common practice. So now the live version is nothing like the album version. They can’t possibly sing that high in real life. It’s all digitally enhanced. My daughter is going to see “Busted” next weekend. I will bet a weeks pay that they will be singing a couple of semi tones lower than the cd.

One day I might tell you my dark secrets. But I promise you they aren’t that dark. I’m not a mass murderer or a child molester. I don’t deal in drugs and although I’m an atheist I believe in the Christian code of life. What goes round comes round. Be nice to people and they will be nice to you. Well it sometimes works. There’s always the mad bastard who fucks it up for everyone. But that’s what you have to live with. The only trouble is you never know who the mad bastards are. Until it’s too late.

May your God be with you. Keep the faith.
Mikel


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