Tuesday, February 08, 2005


I've been ill. Didn't tell you before because I didn't need a whole bunch of comments telling me to get well soon. So now I am well again. Mind you while I was ill it was pretty horrendous, sitting on the toilet with a bucket in front of me not knowing which end it was going to come out of first. Or second or simultaneously. I'm sure you didn't want to know that. But if I've had to suffer that last 48 hours then Sod it! so can you. Anyway normal service is resumed.

I had drug dealers set up in my car park out side the shop over the weekend. They had the inevitable black BMW. I opened the back door of the shop and went to have words. They feigned non comprendi and waved their arms around like demented puppets, then one of them said "We wait for friend"
"Well he's going to find you really easily tucked into the corner of my car park."
"We leave. One minute."
I went back in and watched from an upstairs window. The "Freind" turned up. He handed over a few notes and they handed over a small packet. He stucks his hands in his pocket and wandered off down the road. They started the car and drove off.

Saturday night we went to the pub. At one stage Del and I were sitting in the beer garden. Yes crazy idea in the middle of winter, and the reasons too complex to go into. But we had a view of the frosted toilet windows. Through the frosted window we could make out people coming and going. In the space of ten minutes we witness one person rolling a few joints and another snorting a line off the top of the toilet cystern.
Now were's the WD40 when you need it?
If you didn't already know it WD40 is used as a drug deterrent in pubs now. They spray it on the flat surfaces and when you put down you coke and shuffle it about to make your line the WD40 reacts with it and turns the cocaine into a useless goo. That would really piss off the druggies big time. I don't know how much a line of coke costs. People tell me it's cheaper now than it's ever been. I don't know I've never taken the stuff and don't intend to. My drug of choice has always been beer.

iPod now playing - Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin


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