The Stilton Music Festival

Today I played a music festival in Stilton. OK it's not Glastonbury or reading or the Isle of Wight. I was one of eight acts to appear on stage. Del didn't turn up so I went on stage by myself. The sound system was brilliant and everything was crystal clear. I went on stage about 4pm in the afternoon. It was bloody hot. 34C in the shade today. Incredibly hot. Someone said it reached 35 in places. I had several pints of lager and numerous bottles of water and never went to the toilet once. It was a great day. Simon played with Alison right at the beginning when not many people had turned up. Then he played again with Sacred Heart, both times the sound was brilliant and they were kicking. Then Lois and Dave went up and played their duet stuff. Absolutely fantastic. Dave plays acoustic guitar brilliantly and his wife Lois sings shaking her marraccas. They're middle aged but who cares I'm middle aged and between the lot of us we showed the young ones how it's done. Then it was my turn. I went on and played. As usual being on stage I couldn't really hear a thing. So I really didn't know how it was coming across. There was something wrong with the microphone. I kept getting electric shocks off it. When I was singing if my lips brushed the Mike I got a belt. It put me off a few times. I got through three songs and then thought I've had enough of this. So I stopped and called Dave. "Dave the microphone is live."
"It's supposed to be you're singing."
"No I'm getting electric shocks from it." all this I'm saying through the microphone so the audience could hear. Dave came over and touched it. "What's your problem?"
"I'm getting belts off the microphone."
"Well dont touch the microphone at the same time as the guitar."
"Yeah right." and he grabbed the microphone and pushed a finger tip onto my shoulder. I went into fake spasms on my guitar stool. We laughed. I carried on making sure I didn't get so close to the mike from then on. So I finished off my set and got off. Everyone said it was a good performance despite me being put off by the electric shocks from the microphone, (I made a few mistooks)
The next act on stage was a girl on guitar. She refused to use the microphone I'd had and so they gave her another. She was good. very clear voice pitch perfect and nice finger picking style on guitar. Next up Briony. What can I say? Last year Briony was on a similar bill to me and I slated her in my blog much to the disgust of various people who read it. This year I still dont rate her very highly but I must concede she's got better, she had more stage presence, more confidence in her voice and was generally more professional. The only trouble is she's a Britney wannabee and I just can't find any enthusiasm for her. Although she did tell me she's starting recording her new album next week in Bristol.So I really enjoyed myself today. Smashy broke my folding chair and I'm not going to let him forget it. He sat in it while I was on stage and ripped the arm off it as he pulled himself up to stand. He has more strength than he knows. It collapsed. Never to be used again. I shall take the piss out of him mercilessly for weeks. I'm not angry as it only cost £4. It's a cheap and nasty folding chair, it deserved to be broken. I shant tell Paul that.