Saturday, December 31, 2005

The Season of Goodwill

This is BB. She is the new lead singer for a band called Juzzt. She reminds me of a cross between one of those Eastern European Super models and Debbi Harry. I met her Thursday night on a photo shoot. She's quite pleasant for a super model.. er.. singer.

I spent Christmas with the ex and the children. The ex's new boyfriend was there, actually boyfriend number two boyfriend number one wasn't arriving until after six when boyfriend number two had left. Boyfriend number one if you remember is the undertaker who's idea of showing a girl a good time is taking her to Blackpool to pick up a body in the company Estate car. Neither boyfriend is talkative and so boyfriend number two was a bit lost when my son started asking him about the collapse of communism in Russia and China. He couldn't cope on a Christmas day with all the references to Uncle Joe Stalin and Chairman Mao. He was even more disturbed when daughter putting uneaten custard in a plastic bag asked him to feel it to see if it felt like a real breast. I was waiting for him to run out the house screaming.
Daughter: What's up you never felt a breast before?
Boyfriend: er....
Daughter: What do you reckon dad?
Me: it's not like any breast I've felt kiddo.
Daughter: So not a good implant then?
Ex wife: Have you tried mashed potato there's some left?
Daughter: It had better not be lumpy mash. What do you reckon boyfriend?
Boyfriend: er... whatever. er... what time do I have to leave?
Ex wife: well boyfriend one isn't arriving til six so whenever before then?
Boyfriend: Well thanks for a lovely Christmas dinner. I don't think I've ever spent a more bizarre christmas.
Daughter: This is normal for us.
Boyfriend: Good bye!
Son: Bye come back when you've less time.
Me: OK kids we've got half and hour to prepare for boyfriend number one. How shall we destroy him?
Daughter: Ooooh let me count the ways.....

'tis the season of goodwill. Posted by Picasa


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