Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The Black Dog

Freinds, I beg your patience with me. The black dog of winter has visited me. It happens every year. This year I've been spared it by almost a month because we've had a very long Autumn with the sun shining and I've been out walking. Normally it hits me the middle of November. This year it's the middle of December. So I'm thankful.
You may want to tell me to cheer up but it doesn't work that way. I know my life is fantastic. I know I have a fabulous time. I know everything is falling into place and everything is going great. I know all this. But the Black Dog doesn't do logic. Their is no logic to winter depression.

For instance I should be really happy that I had a phone call today from a famous Blues band wanting me to shoot their album cover over Christmas. I should be elated, I should be walking on air.
I should be happy that the local paper are doing a story featuring my photos this Wednesday, giving me full credit.
I should be happy that I am now the official photographer for Muddy Promotions and Unity. You can see that I can see that. But the Black Dog doesn't.
The Black Dog doesn't care about anything or anyone. He just squats in my head and runs riot, destroying my friendships by making me be impatient. The Black Dog has my head in a vice squeezing so tightly that I can't think anymore.
I have to warn my friends that they should ignore me. Leave me alone. Don't push me or else the wrath of Satan will descend on them through my lips. The Black Dog makes me not give a shit what I say. Any innocent comment that previously would go right over my head and be shrugged off will let forth a stream of abuse. I shock myself sometimes. It's not me saying this... it's the Black Dog.
So don't tell me to cheer up, I will in due time. That will be mid January if things run true to course.
But keep this in mind even though Black Dog is in control right now my life is great. I know it. I really do. Things couldn't be better. I know everything is hunky dory. But logic has no part in my mind right now. I can tell myself this until the cows come home but it wont make any difference until 15th of January, when I regain control of my life, and I kick Black Dog into touch.
Meanwhile you may care to take a look at this.

This is how good my life really is.

So while I tell you all to fuck off and leave me alone. You should know I love you all. It's just the fucking BLACK DOG!

Rock on dudes.


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