Friday, July 22, 2016

Another world. Another life.

It's a strange relationship I have with my man.We go back many many years. back to when things were normal and we had normal (for me) lives. We both worked. We both had fun. Then it all changed and he hit rock bottom got  a spade and dug himself deeper while I stayed in the sun.
Now it's as if he can't remember ever having a previous life. He was an electrician but now I wouldn't even trust him with a  battery. I do his electrical repairs for him. His whole world now is alcohol drugs and random sex. We don't talk about the past it doesn't exist anymore. Half the time he can't remember what happened last week. We talk about what's happening right now. I don't ever recall talking about the future either. He has no future. Each time he leaves I expect that's  the last time I'll see him. But he always comes  back with some outrageous story.
He lives in this strange one dimensional world of NOW. The past and future are irrelevent, they don't exist and in an existential way they don't. His only concern is what's happening right now. He's got a drink. He needs a drink. He's on his way to get drink. Today he has money. Tomorrow? Tomorrow doesn't exist. Tomorrow is another problem he will get to when it's upon him.
I've been asked why I don't try to help him. After all he is my friend. But offering help is like insulting him. he owns his own house through an inheritance. He gets benefits. He's happy If he's happy what more do you want? I'd rather he drank less and left out the drugs. Occasionally I tell him this but it's pointless. he can walk out of here full of promises to go straight, give up drugs, then walk straight into the off licence, or score a hit from his ex wife , he has several exs.
Now there's a story. Before she kicked him out he had a whole community of friends all into drugs and alcohol. When he left her she had a client list ready and waiting to go, complete with all the contacts and knowledge. So she went into business as a drug dealer. By all accounts she makes a good living at it. DrugsRus Est: 1998 a family company.


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