The boundaries of bad taste and decency

Took the boy to the cinema last night. Got there to find my daughter Gemma, sitting on the grass outside with boyfriend. She was wondering how to get home as Matt (the boyfriend) only had one crash helmet for his motor bike. I said I'd take her home but only after the Jamie and I had seen the film so she might as well come with us and see it too. Stepford wives. Yes it was funny but not brilliant. Gemma was wearing this short blue dress and high heeled shoes. She is going to disown me if I tell you this, but she is not used to high heeled shoes and was tottering around. I couldn't help laughing. You see my Gemma is more a jeans, sweat shirt and training shoes type of girl. So to see her in a dress is unual. She was pleased because she almost made a car crash, the driver was paying more attention to her than the road as he drove past. Another couple of guys whistled and shouted at her. She said "I think I'd better wear this dress more often. I'm getting loads of attention."

After taking the kids home I went on to Dels. He was throwing a little soirée for the band in his back garden. He took great delight in playing a new song he'd found by a band call AC Dixy a country and western group that played heavy metal in a blue grass style. OK it sounds bizarre. But it works OK! One of the tracks was "Keeping your poop in a jar." It's a song about this guy who's girlfriend dumped him, and all that he had left to remind himself of her was a jar of ........ well you know the rest. Del said "We've got to do this one on stage." Stunned silence. "Come on it'll be great."

We already push the boundaries of bad taste and decency when we play Kevin Bloody Wilson songs on stage. "Do you fuck on first date?" and "Don't touch you sister she's mine." and "It was over before it began." But I might draw the line at "Keeping your poop in a Jar".

Tonight we play the Wheatsheaf for the charity family fun day and tomorrow we do the music festival in Folkesworth. So busy busy busy.

Here's a bit of useless information for you. If something happens only once in a blue moon then today is that day. Today is the blue moon day. Not because the moon is blue but because we have a full moon twice in one calendar month. The next time it happens will be in 2007.

My boy Jamie has a new organ. It's enormous. It's the biggest one I've ever seen. He's very pleased with it as you can imagine, and plays with it all the time. He used to have a smaller one which was OK, but this new one is amazing. His mother has a friend who collects organs of a particular type and in conversation discovered that Jamies old organ was a missing piece of his collection. He had to have it, so he did a trade. Jamies old organ for this new huge organ. It's like a wurlitzer organ with hundreds of buttons and knobs and dials, two keyboards and fills the entire sitting room.

Just had a mother with a little girl come in. The little girl who was about 4 years old said "Guess where we're going next?" I couldn't guess. "We're going to buy a new cat and a new dog and a new baby."

"Where do you buy babies?" I asked

"At the borning house of course, that's where daddies new girl friend is. She's choosing one right now. It must be hard to choose your new baby because you have to lie down in beds afterwards. It better to choose a new puppy or kitten even I don't get tired after that."