Thursday, September 23, 2004

Life? Don't talk to me about life.

A friend of mine has a young man living in her car park. His name is Mark, his girl friend kicked him out after a period of writing to a prisoner in jail, he was coming out of prison and she invited him to live with her so she kicked Mark out the door to make room for the ex-con. Mark didn't have anywhere to go, all he had was his car, so he now lives outside my friends house in his car. He has his camping gas stove and cooks bacon and beefburgers on his gas stove. The car is his front room. because he is a single guy he has almost no points to get housed, he can't work, because he is recovering from a serious accident, so he can't afford his own place. So everyday he sits in his car, occasionally walking down to the shops and buying the out of date food at a cut price. His patio is my friends garden wall, on which he sits watching the world go by.
Now you may be thinking "what a waster". But you'd be wrong. During the day he is selling stuff door to door a scheme similar to Am-ways. It's about as much as he can do at the moment. He has an order book currently with £400 worth of orders but he doesn't have an address. So my friend lets him borrow her address when his area manager comes to visit him. When it's time for bed he drives his car ten yards to the corner of the car park and goes to sleep on the back seat. First thing in the morning he drives it back to the wall again.
I spoke to him today, he is so desperate that his only hope is to stop taking his inhalers and catch pneumonia, then when he goes into hospital to be treated they wont be able to throw him out because he's homeless, the council will have to give him a place to live. That's his theory, how desperate is that? Today was the first time he's had a bath in four weeks. My friend took pity on him.
Now the funny bit. He has become best friends with the ex-con who is regretting the day he ever moved in with his prison penfriend, he says he had more freedom in prison, she's on his case 24/7, so he spends his time sitting on the wall with Mark trying to avoid the girl friend. They sit and talk football and if they're flush they might go and have a can of beer or two from the supermarket. It's a life.

And finally.......My mate went to the sex shop to buy a blow up doll, the guy behind the counter asked him if he wanted an English doll or a terrorist doll.
"what's the difference?"
"The terrorist doll blows herself up."

Rock on dudes

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