It's a Rum Old Life

So last night I'm minding my own business playing with my computer and doing some serious slobbing. That was to be followed by a period of inactivity, then I wasn't going to do anything. If I found time I was going to have a lie down and stare into space for a while.
Well the evening was going really successfully as planned I had achieved absolutely nothing. The phone rang.
Shit! I've got to move to answer it.
It was Del. "Hello Mike Da Hat what yuh doin'"
"Nothing."
"Good you can come round and have a couple of beer with me then."
So I put on my coat and wandered off to Dels.
I sat there two minutes until I finally said
"OK Del where's the beer then."
"Got none." he says.
"You've got me here under false pretences m'boy."
"Got something better." and he reaches down and pulls out a bottle of Jamaica rum and pours me a generous slug.
Nectar.
So we start chilling out and punishing that bottle, in fact we punished it so much the empty is already in the bin.
Diane came in, Dels says "Diane what do we have in the cupboard that needs finishing off?"
She came back with another bottle of rum.
"errr.... I've errr got to go home now Del."
"No you don't sit yourself down and have a snifter of this one. It'll do you good." he pours a generous snifter. Del is nothing if not generous.
It was aweful, it tasted like phenol.
"Gawd Del this is vile."
"Knock it back you'll get used to it. It gets better after the third."
later..........
"I've got to go now Del"
"Ah then you'll be wanting one for the road then."
"No thanks."
"Come on, you knows it."
"No really I've 'ad enuff."
"Come here big fella give us yuh glass. It's cold outside. And will you sit down. You keep standing up it's putting me off I keep thinking your leaving or something."
"Well I am."
"You are what?"
"Leaving."
"When?"
"I was."
"What."
"Leaving."
"Are you?"
" I was before but didn't and I am now but aren't but I will soon."
"Well sit down a while, while you finish your drink."

Well the moral of this tale is.......... I'm not quite sure but my head still hurts and I think I've gone blind.