Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Cocking it up!

Last week I went to see some friends play at Genevas bar. I hadn't planned to play but they persuaded me to go up on stage and do some stuff. I had to borrow a guitar. I wasn't my guitar. I wasn't used to it. The strap was too long. The guitar unwieldy. The stool I was sitting on was wobbly. The microphone was in an awkward position. I started playing. Everything was wrong. I wasn't comfortable. Memories of the terrible stage fright I used to suffer from started coming back to me. My legs started shaking like they used to. I felt sick. I used to throw up before going on stage at one time. That was before I learnt from Del and Tony that is was OK to make mistakes, no one noticed as long as you kept going. So I did my best. God it was so amateurish. I was ashamed of myself. I knew I could do better. But I didn't. I came off stage to a round of applause. I didn't deserve it. I deserve stony silence and crickets chirping and tumble weed rolling across the stage and a distant church bell ringing solemnly. Dejected I went over to my friends to apologise for my abyssmal failure to perform to the required (my required) standard.
"That was great." they said.
"Fuck off! I was crap and you know it."
"No it was Ok. Yes you made a couple of mistakes but it was really good."
I didn't believe them and left jumping into my car to run to the safety of a pint with Del who was waiting for me at our pub. I have these crisies of confidence sometimes. Not often but it still happens. My salvation is Del who believes in me. Funnily enough Tony always refused to play with me just me and him. If Del wanted a break Tony would disappear off stage as well and leave me to it by myself. If Tony wanted a break Del would stay on stage with me and we'd play together.
Del has a cold. He is poorly sick. Diane texted me tonight saying I wouldn't be seeing Del tonight as she was going to stay with him and cheer him up. Thursday Del is having injections in his wrist for carpel tunnel syndrome. We're hoping his playing hand will be Ok for this Sundays big charity gig. He's been practicing playing using one hand and just strumming with his bad hand. We've borrowed my ex wifes Fender Stratocaster. Dels Telecaster is in dry dock right now. He is disgusted that we've had two rehearsals. He has never rehearsed for a gig before (that's a lie, but it's a great joke.) Del and rehearsals just don't go together. It's like saying Tolerance and the British National Party in the same sentence. He has this theory that rehearsals takes away the immediacy of live playing. I seem to recall when he explained it to me that the words terror and spontaneity were in the same sentence.

Last night Del said we were going to do a new song by Kylie Minogue. WHAT? It goes "Na na na nanna na nanana na na na" I'm sure you know it. As Del says "if it's good enough for Basement Jaxx to cover it, it's good enough for us"

Rock on dudes

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