Friday, September 24, 2004

Well I'm totally fucked up now. I never asked to be psychic. I didn't want to be psychic. I was really happy with my existence as a confirmed athiest. Before everything was black and white. It was certain. But now everything is in shit loads of grey. I don't know what to think. I don't want people to think I'm crazy because I've seen ghosts. I don't want people to walk away from me because they think I have over stepped the mark of reality. Christ I'm a scientist. Things have to be proven to me for me to accept them. but this sort of stuff can not be proven. All I can say to you is I am still Mike Da hat. But I'm Mike da hat who is temporarily totally fucked. I don't know where it's going. I never planned this. I didn't ask for it. I want my life back where it was safe and secure.

A friend Emailed me privately and said "When I read your post John lennon sprang to mind" they weren't his exact words but basically that was what he said. Shit I was listening to the new John Lennon legend CD when it happened. This is another example of what is happening to me.; I'm 45 years old why now? I'm too old to change my way of life. My way of thinking. other people already know what I'm thinking. That's scary.

At the moment I am going through a lot of shit. You're going to have to be patient with me until I sort it out in my own mind. Stuff has happened thatI haven't had time to tell you about. It's happened so quickly. I don't even understand it myself. I can't explain it to you. Friends have told me quite sincerely that a door has been opened for me and I only have to step through it. But you know it's scary having to step through that door into the unknown, When I was really happy before. A few posts previously I said that I would not mention this again. But things are happening so quickly that I reserve the right to change my mind.

I only hope you guys don't write me off as a crazy bastard. I promise you I'm not mad. This is frightening me more than you can imagine. My psychic friend keeps telling me that it's not scary it 's normal. But I have to think about that for a while. Be patient. I'm not mad Honest. I don't feel mad I just feel confused. This is all new to me. I'd prefer not to see ghosts. I'd prefer to live my life normally.I don't want to be psychic.It's too much for me right now. I haven't seen anything tonight. I haven't felt anything. I am normal.

iPod now playing We are normal but we dig Burt Weedon by The bonzo dog doo dah band


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