Don't Do the Shake'n'vac
You've all seen the adverts. "Do the shake'n'vac and put the freshness back" etc. Here's my advice.
You see this particular product has fucked up so many vacuum cleaners you wouldn't believe it. You see it's based on this gritty sandy like substance that you shake on your carpets and then suck up into your vacuum. The only trouble is this gritty sandy like substance gets into the bearings of your machine and acts like a grinding paste and after a while your machine is in landfill.
Now SC Johnson, a family company, know all about this but are not about to admit anything, or advertise anything to that effect. So their policy is to deny everything. However, and here's the clever bit, if you phone SC Johnson, a family company, and tell their customer services that their crummy shake'n'vac has fucked up your vacuum cleaner, a crisp new cheque to the value of your machine will find it's way through your letter box, no questions asked courtesy those lovely people at SC Johnson, a family company, no liability admitted but done as a gesture of good will. Aren't they such lovely people?
Next week Brian, our resident paint and decoration expert, road tests the new 6" Harrison emulsion paintbrush against the Wickes own brand version.
Rock on dudes