The Art of Being Famous

So last night I help out Mike Stewart with his "Rockology" show, it's an anthology of rock music over the last three decades. Mike paid me mega bucks for last night. So don't tell the tax man. I'm not complaining. In fact it was a long night; we started setting up at 7pm and got home about midnight. I had loads ofpeople say hi! to me. I guess it's because of my hat. It seemed everyone knew me. Or was it that they pretended to know me because I was with the band and they wanted to have some of it for themselves. An incredibly cute blonde girl came up to me and kissed me. She was pissed obviously, it wouldn't happen to me normally. I didn't recognise anyone apart from my own friends. It's a tricky thing being famous (even locally) people come up to you like they are your best friends and you haven't a clue who the fuck they are. But you smile and say hello and exchange all sorts of pleasantries and hope to God they don't expect you to know their names. Which I rarely do. I've noticed Del has the same thing, loads of people stop him to say hello even more than I get. He always gives the impression of being pleased to see them. I'll have to ask him one day if he really knows these people.

I phoned Jamie Lee Curtis last night to see if she wanted to come to the gig with me but she was otherwise engaged with a premiere of some film somewhere. Typical.
I'm very jealous of John Clease right now. He got to do a scene with her in "A fish called wanda." OK it was a long time ago but I can still be jealous. I might not phone her anymore being as she is playing so hard to get. She's the same age as me except she's older than me by one week. Hey I'm in showbizz. I know the score. We have things in common. OK I haven't made any films except for a trade film once where I played someone who had discovered a fire in a factory, and had to run from stage left shouting "There's fire....... come quick." That was my only line. But I spent weeks practicing and trying to get into character, I wanted to totally immerse myself in this important acting role and be as convincing as possible. I think setting fire to my own clothes during rehearsals may have been a bit over the top. So if your company makes you watch a fire safety film it could be me in the starring role. Jamie Lee Curtis eat your heart out. I'm famous. Famous in factories up and own the length and breadth of England. The companies pay their people to watch me but people have to pay to watch you. Last week I phoned Jamie Lee to see if she wanted me to come round with a bottle of fizzy wine and a dvd. But as usual she stood me up. You'd think she'd make time for a fellow actor.

iPod now playing - Smooth by Carlos Santana