Thursday, April 14, 2005

Half the size twice the fun?

Flipping 'eck there should be a health warning on some kids sweets. I was in the corner shop today and a little yellow tube caught my eye with a black thing poking out the top like a fuse, like a little stick of dynamite. Memories came flooding back to me and being as I have such SORE FINGERS right now I thought a little comfort food was called for. So I bought my first "Sherbert fountain" in God knows how many years.
Rip off the top strip of paper to reveal the cardboard tube and there lieing inside is a load of white sherbert. With your liquorice stick to dip into it.
Then I remembered you bit off the tip of the liquorice stick to make it into a liquorice straw. oh what fun!
So I'm sucking away at my liquorice straw and it gets blocked. Shouldn't have sucked the other end first and used it as a dipper. So I'm sucking like mad and suddenly dooofff a straw full of sherbert flies straight to the back of my throat and into my lungs. I cough violently. Straight into the opened tube of sherbert, there's blow back and I get a face full, in my eyes and up my nose and I'm coughing fit to bust. There's tears streaming down my cheaks and I can't speak. Customers walk in to find me apparently having a fit clinging onto the counter, my face white like I'm wearing Michael Jacksons make up.

So later I went to Tescos and noticed fun sized Mars bars and Fun sized Milky Ways. What's that all about? Where's the fun in a Mars bar that's one inch long? Everything is shrinking. I remember when Wagon Wheels were huge. You could survive a weeks route marching on one Wagon wheel and a Mars bar. Now they're tiny.
Further round Tescos I found fun sized apples. I mentioned it to Petal. She commented that in her youth the fun sized apples were the ones that weren't ripe and gave you tummy ache. They've got tiny fun sized bananas as well. What next?

I'll be with Jamie Lee Curtis one night we'll have watched the DVD shared a home delivered pizza with extra olives washed down with the bottle of fizzy wine and in an intimate moment when I drop the kecks, she'll burst into hysterical laughter and I'll say "But it's fun sized."

iPod now playing - You can talk to me by The Seahorses

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