Then he went an' got busted

Some of you may recall a while back I mentioned a shop very near here that sold or rather didn't sell Afro-carribean produce. Well as a recap they have on display all this produce but no one buys it. It's the same stuff everyweek until it rots in the baskets. It is in fact a front for a drug dealing operation. Last night the police turned up and raided the place. The owner was taken down the road well away from the shop and "interviewed" whilst other policemen ran in and out of the shop. It was all good fun and Del and I were leaning out of my flat window watching it all go down. Some much for recording our new single "Lions ate my sister" * we were too busy hanging out the window.
So we went back to recording laying down a drum track when we heard voices outside.
"Have you been drinking?" and "How much have you drunk?"
So it was down guitars again and leaning out the window to witness the police pinning this guy up against my front door. He was a bit wibbly.
"Now I'm going to ask you to blow into this one one long breath no stopping. Do you understand?"
"yesh"
So the policeman puts the tube to the guys mouth and the guy sucks.
"Now what did I tell you? If you don't do this properly I will arrest you for failing to take a breath test when asked by a police officer."
"but I just want to tell you something......."
"you can tell us after you taken the test."
"But I don't need to take a test I haven't ben drinking that's all."
"So you won't be worried about breathing into this tube then?"
He breathes into the tube. Del and I are still hanging out of my window right above their heads.
The police man goes on "...if this light comes on you will have failed the test......."
Del and I craned out to look for the light on the machine that was being held up in front of the perp. It lit. "Yeah!"
The policeman looks up and see's us grinning ear to ear. He is not amused. We'd both fail a breathalyser, but then we're not driving are we? Our cars are safely locked up.
He looks back to the "I arrest you for being drunk in change of a vehicle anything you say etc" and he slung the guy into a cage in the back of the police van.
"he wont be back home before morning." says Del who is grinning so hard I begin to wonder if he's got a flip top head.
The police leave and two minutes later Charlie is banging on the door. He's stoned already, he's standing on my doorstep swaying "Mike do I want a cup of tea or do I want another beer?"
"I don't know. What do you want?"
"Fuck it! I'll have a beer." He comes in and zones in on Dels Telecaster which is plugged into my effects pedal and he's away, massive distortion and enough noise to wake the dead which is great because there's a cemetary just across the road.
We record a couple more of his songs but they're not great, he's too stoned to get it right.
This morning Petal came to see me. "The drug bust last night wasn't."
"How do you know?"
"I've just been speaking to him. The police came round because they suspected his son had broken a window."
Well that's his story. I can't think a broken window merits a full scale police raid. So we'll be watching the local papers very closely from now on.
He certainly isn't going to admit he's been collared by the old bill is he?

* The new single is going to have a tribal feel, though I don't quite know how I'm going to fit the hollowed out tree trunk into my recording studio for the rythm section. Del has this idea of a sort of hip hop disco feel to it running along side the relentless tribal beat with a few whoa whoas thrown in. The song is about how Lions ate my sister while she was fetching water from the well in Eastern Zaire, except there's a parrallel with Lions as in a rugby team eating my sister because she's a bit of a slapper. Not my real sister you understand she's a real cutie and very proper, no she would not let a whole rugby team eat her well not all at once. This is the hyperthetical sister. Anyway it's far too deep for the likes of you. I'm an artist and you don't understand. Why the hell do I bother? My talent is wasted.

So this is what's going down in the every day life of this every day Rock star.

Rock on Dudes

iPod now playing - Signs by Charlie